It has been said that intimacy breeds contempt. Certainly the high divorce rate would have us believe that.
In your own world, how often have you felt devastated because you and your partner are not seeing eye-to-eye, or you feel that the love has transformed into a power struggle, or long tedious road into boredom?
Do you find that you are continually arguing and sparring and can’t seem to return to that glorious place you experienced early in your relationship when you felt bathed in the warm glow of love and felt so deeply connected to your partner?
Perhaps in your despair you have sought for that seemingly elusive and disappearing love outside of your partnership – in an affair, a flirtation, being totally immersed in your work, losing yourself to a cause, or involving yourself in your children’s lives so deeply that you have no time to let the pain of lost love rise to your conscious mind.
Or perhaps your close same-sex friendships assume such an importance that they somehow replace the sense of hopelessness that you feel deep down that you are not good enough to deserve a loving relationship?
How do we reconcile the disappointments in our relationship and navigate the rocky parts so that we enter smooth waters and come to a place of harmony, love and peace based on mutual respect, gratitude and celebration of the differences?
In truth, relationships are more about ourselves that the other. They just show us to ourselves.
We teach people how to love and accept us in the way that we love and accept ourselves.
For example, blame and criticism is the No. 1 reason why relationships fail. Most couples split up, family members stop talking or business partnerships fail because one or other of the parties gets tired of being blamed and criticized.
Think about how it felt last time you were blamed or criticized.
If in the moment when a critical thought is forming or a blaming statement about the other is on your tongue, you can instead make a “Mmmmmmm” sound. What this does is it shifts you out of your “critical” brain into your “wonder” brain.
Then, you can say to yourself, “Hmmm… I wonder what I could learn from this.” Or “Hmmm… I wonder how I’m contributing to this situation”.
When you do this from a place of sincere wonder, then an immediate change takes place in your connection with the person you were previously blaming or criticizing.
Try this the next time you have a critical thought, and watch real miracles open up in your relationships!
When we are critical and blaming it is truly more about us, and our relationship with ourselves, that we are expressing and that gets reflected back.
We attract the people who will allow us to grow, who will invite us to grow, who will ask us to step up and into our highest self-expression.
This doesn’t always happen consciously or pleasantly…..it just happens.
Enjoy the opportunity to let others know how much you love yourself and miracles will happen!!
The Spirit of Woman Australian Wild Flower Essence Relationship range assists you to have that essential love affair with yourself, so that you can fully love and accept your partner and appreciate the deep love you will receive in return.
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